Final Update on Zack

In case you didn't see this in your email, here is the last Update on Zack. Thank you all for your prayers over the years. Click on the link to see the chapters to the book as they get written.



July 3, 2005


Dear Family and Friends,

Today, the 3rd, has been a very sad day for me. I guess maybe bittersweet is a better descriptor. It was 5 years ago today that Ken and I sat in the waiting room while Zack had his skull sawed open and his brain tissues operated on by a stranger. It was the scariest day of my life. Up to that point, I'd never known so completely that everything is in God's hands. There would be many times after that, but it was so immediate that day. We just sat in the cafeteria, pretending to eat, clutching each other's hands and praying without ceasing for a miracle. It seemed I forgot how to breathe, how to walk. Food had the texture of grit from the floor and tasted like old, damp cardboard.

That morning, in the prep area, right before they took Zack in to surgery, our minister, John David Walt and Zack's youth minister, Bob Swan, showed up. It was perfect timing and Zack had a moment to pray with them before he went in. They then came and waited with us for a while. It was such a help, just to have them there, even when we were just talking about nothing. Just when they had to go see other members of our church, God sent more help. Our dear friends, Jan and Philippe DeChambrier, came up and stayed with us for a lot of the day. Jan brought a big 12-pack of Cherry Coke - Zack's favorite at the time. Jan is a cancer survivor and she and Philippe are the greatest. After they had to leave, it was just Ken and I and time. God was with us though, even then, arranging the timing and ensuring that we were cared for. We knew that He was guiding the surgeons' hands and was with Zack throughout the surgery and the long, surreal night in ICU.

Within 28 hours of getting out of surgery, Zack was able to not only have a room on the Pedi/Adolescent floor, Green 9, but to walk over to the Pedi-Dome in that area and shoot baskets. He was making them, too. It was a wonderful thing for us all, especially Ariel, to see Zack doing so well. We sat at the window and watched the fireworks over Astroworld, as by then it was the evening of July 4th. From that point, Zack always referred to July 3rd as his Independence Day because that was the day they freed him from most of the cancer in his brain and it was also the day when he began his personal offensive against the cancer.

When Zack and I first talked about putting all the prayer request "Update on Zack" emails together in a book, our idea, besides raising money for brain cancer research, was to share all that God was doing in our lives and to encourage others who were in the midst of a trial. I was thinking the end of the book would be when Zack was cancer-free for a whole year. Sadly, that ending was not to be.

Even after we knew the cancer was terminal, Zack still wanted me to write this book and to share our story with others. After he passed away, I felt awkward writing Updates. I mean, I'm nobody - I'm anybody. Why would someone want to read what I have to say? But then, one day, I really did see that it wasn't about me. It wasn't even about Zack, for that matter. It was about God, his providence, his promises and his faithfulness. Ultimately, it is about His Love. He cares so very dearly for YOU. You are His child and if you just ask for His care, He will be there with so much more than you could ever think to ask for. You just have to receive it. He offers guidance and protection through his angels, peace and calm for the storm through the Holy Spirit and salvation - forgiveness of all sins - through his Son, Jesus Christ. God is good - taste and see.

No matter what you are going through, no matter what storms, God will be with you. That is the main thing we learned through this five year voyage. We learned to live daily with the knowledge that God is in control - especially when our life was out of control. We came to live the peace that passes all understanding as written in Philippians:

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4: 4 - 7


Did this mean that we were never afraid again? No, we still faced fear. What it meant to us was that in the middle of that fear, we could also experience unreasonable peace. We knew that no matter what life would throw at us, God would be right there with us, protecting us and sending us help. Even before we knew what we needed, God knew and He would send it. You need to know that whatever you are facing today, God is there with you, too, and will send what you need for your journey. No matter what happens in the world, God is never surprised and He's never afraid. Even when it seems least likely, God is in control. You can rest in Him, just for today. Tomorrow He will send what you need for tomorrow.

In the end, the reason I kept writing after Zack left us is that I want this to be a benefit to others who are living with loss. Not that your experience will be the same, but maybe you'll find something in this that will give you hope for your future. Also, specifically for those who have lost a child, this is a territory not many have covered and it helps to have the words of someone who has been there. I know we were given strength for our journey, in part, by hearing how others had made it through theirs. I sincerely hope there is something in here that will be a help and comfort to you, no matter what you find yourself facing.

So, here is the final Update. I do so pray every day that our story will be a reassurance and a encouragement to those who read it. I pray that the "Update on Zack" book will sell and make money for brain cancer research. But most of all, above all and every day, I pray that I will be able to give glory to God for all that He did for us and to give thanks to Him for our many amazing experiences. Did you know that Moses had a speech impediment and yet he was one of the greatest communicators of all time? God gave him the courage and skills for what he had ahead of him. I feel like Moses - metaphorical speech impediment and all. I forge ahead even though I am terrified by what I am attempting. I pray that I will do a job worthy of all the courage Zack had and the pain he had to endure.

Thank you for sharing the time with us, whether you were our prayer partner from the first frantic email or whether you have just joined us. Thank you for your prayers, for all the practical help we received and for all the verses, recipes, cards, advice, information and time you spent with us.

I'll leave you with a song I heard today that brought Zack rushing to my mind. It's called "Remember Me", by Mark Schultz.

Remember Me


Remember me
In a Bible cracked and faded by the years.
Remember Me
In a sanctuary filled with silent prayer

And age to age
And heart to heart,
Bound by grace and peace.
Child of wonder,
Child of God,
I've remembered you,
Remember Me.

Remember Me
When the color of the sunset fills the sky
Remember Me
When you pray and tears fall from your eyes.

And age to age
And heart to heart,
Bound by grace and peace.
Child of wonder
Child of God,
I've remembered you,
Remember Me

Remember Me
When the children leave their Sunday school with smiles
Remember Me
When they're old enough to teach,
Old enough to preach
Old enough to leave.

And age to age
And heart to heart
Bound by grace and peace
Child of wonder,
Child of God,
I've remembered you,
Remember Me.

Age to age
And heart to heart
Child of wonder
Child of God
Remember Me.

Artist: Mark Schultz
Album: Mark Schultz
Title: Remember Me


Love and so many, many thanks,

Barbara Homrighaus

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